Fascinating Morning

So this morning, as I was walking past my car with cute adorable fuzzy JD, I happened to notice that someone was in my car. Yes, you read that correctly. He was all curled up on my front seat (seat back was down) and out cold. I was incredulous! My first instinct is, of course, the stupid one....to wake the idiot up and have him be on his way....but being a girl, I thought it wise that I enlist some help.

There were two gardeners that were mowing our front lawn so I politely asked them if they would help me remove the derelict from the vehicle. They were having none of it, saying that we weren't sure if he was armed, or if he was a violent person, etc and that I should call the police.

Before I continue the story, I have to insert here another stupid habit of mine is that I don't usually lock my car doors. It's a piece of dung car and I don't keep valuables in it, so I was always of the notion that if someone really wanted to steal my $2 sunglasses, I wasn't going to cry about it. Clearly, I wasn't thinking of people actually falling asleep in that piece of dung car.

So I go back inside the house and I call Scott to which I say, "Now I realize why I should lock my car doors at night" to which he replies, "Your car was broken into as well? I was just going through my truck to record what was stolen" to which I reply, "Ummm, he's still in my car, honey" to which he replies, "Call the police, I'm on my way home."

The cops are called and like a live-action episode of Cops, they staunchly creep up the driveway, guns drawn, proceed to yank open the car doors and declare, "San Diego police, let me see your hands!" The guy gets out and is cuffed.....they take all of his crap out of his pants (including a crack pipe and two items that he stole from Scott's truck) and then ask him why he was asleep in the vehicle. He then proceeds to tell them that he doesn't own the car but his friend does and his friend lets him pass out in there every now and then. Of course, the cops tell him that they know he's lying. At this point, Scott shows up, pissed and ready to go apeshit, but the cop meets him at the front of the lawn and tells him that he'd appreciate it if Scott would stay calm and not rip the suspect's head off. So instead, Scott just stood by me and glowered at the guy.

Today's lesson, kiddies: always lock your car doors and always check the car before you get in for random drug addicts that are wandering your neighborhood while you're asleep and decide that they'll catch some winks in your vehicle.