Damn It, I Must Talk Politics

I am a true believer that people are going to vote for who they will vote for, that attempting to change someone's mind is usually a moot point, and that we should all have the freedom to believe in and vote for a candidate that reflects our own beliefs and morals. For that reason, I've refrained from putting anything overwhelmingly political on my blog, however, the time has now come where I can ignore it no longer. For those of you that don't know, I am an Obama supporter. This doesn't mean that I am going to engage in endless debates with everyone and anyone who happens to be a McCain advocate. I respect everyone's choices and I know that people are deciding on candidates that will enact policies that affect their own lives, values, and choices.

That being said, for me personally, the introduction of Sarah Palin as the veep nominee on the McCain ticket really insulted me. I was not a Hillary follower but if I had been, I would've really been annoyed at McCain's choice of Palin, simply because it appears that she was chosen simply because she is a woman (albeit a gun-toting, anti-choice, mooseburger-chewing huntress from Alaska)....anyway, I came across the following in an email that was sent to me by a die-hard democrat and it had me laughing so hard I almost wet myself. I thought I'd share for those of you that can appreciate it. For those of you that can't, I don't care. Just try not read any further. I'd hate to offend Palin supporters :)

Let's call this the "She Has A Vagina" Monologue:

Hi Everyone,
We're still in Denver where we've participated in one of the most thrilling experiences of our lives!! Details to follow when we see, or speak with each other!

However, I have to say that when McCain announced Sarah Palin as his running mate, as a woman, I immediately knew that I had no option but to change my party affiliation! This will be the very first time that I vote Republican, but as you know, I was a Hillary supporter and now there's a female candidate for the Vice-Presidency! I mean really; here is this pretty, evangelical woman who decided not to abort her Down syndrome son and who's been Governor for almost TWO WHOLE years in one of the least populated states in the nation...who shoots moose at 3am and who graduated with a BA in journalism and a MINOR in political science from the University of Idaho, and while it is true that she has no record of public service until she started campaigning in the late 90's, when her ESPN dreams of reporting sports on TV ended abruptly, she HAS A VAGINA!

She was Mayor of a town of 7,000 (when Barack was a state senator representing 210,000 people) so she knows how to govern, and by virtue of the fact that her state is so close to Russia, she automatically has foreign policy experience! (this was actually an argument made by one of the party hacks I heard on TV) and...most importantly...SHE HAS A VAGINA!

It is true that my new candidate, John McCain, has had many bouts with melanoma, just celebrated his 72nd birthday, and looks kind of wax-like, and his choice of a vice president had to be carefully thought out, because the vice president would one 'stage 4 melanoma' away from the presidency. I know that he has said that he would choose someone with whom he felt comfortable and had a relationship, and that he's only met Sarah Palin once, but really, she HAS A VAGINA! And after all, isn't that all we women want! Just to have a candidate who has a vagina!

Yes it is true that my old party, the Democratic party, nominated a woman in 1984, and that that woman, Geraldine Ferraro, fought hard for my candidate Hillary Clinton, this time around. And yes it's true that it only took 24 years for my new party to nominate a woman...but this woman is really quite spectacular! I mean, her favorite food is mooseburger and she can shoot a sniper rifle. What a plus when you're meeting with foreign diplomats. Oh wait, I don't think she yet knows what a foreign diplomat is, but I hear she's quick study...and SHE HAS A VAGINA.

I cannot wait for Tina Fey to play her in the movie version of what I see as a great American story. Working title: 'SHE HAS A VAGINA!'

I know there's lots of work to be done, and that right at this moment Sarah is being investigated on ethic charges stemming from her firing of a government employee who refused to fire her ex-brother in law, a cop who was engaged in a nasty divorce from Sarah's sister, but didn't Barack say that we must be our brother and sister's keeper! Sarah was simply doing that; she's a good sister!

Sarah's oldest child, a son, is being deployed to Iraq (I know that Sen. Biden's son Beau, attorney general of Delaware, is also being deployed to Iraq, as a reservist, but he simply said that he 'had other responsibilities in the fall, so he couldn't be around to help out his father' and never really used the opportunity to make his very patriotic credentials known) and unlike Senator Biden, a 36 year member of the Senate and author of the most comprehensive (1994) Domestic Violence bill ever created and passed, who talks about helping women, through this bill and his foundation for women with breast cancer, Sarah Palin has gone one step farther...and done what Senator Biden has never been able to do, and will NEVER be able to do. My new candidate, Sarah Palin, doesn't just make policy helping women throughout our country; my candidate actually HAS A VAGINA! Take that Senator Biden!

So it is for this reason that I have carefully decided that as a woman, it is my first obligation to support the Republican ticket, because Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin HAS A VAGINA! Despite the fact that Sarah Palin represents EVERYTHING I despise, and EVERYTHING that I believe is the worst in America (except the part where she was first runner-up in the Miss Alaska contest...you guys know that I love a good beauty contest), I will be voting for her in November.

In the end, my new candidate, John McCain, got it right: he knew that we women were so dumb, so vapid, so 'one issue', so unconcerned about the war, foreign policy, poverty, education (by the way, my new candidate Sarah Palin, has said, and then retracted, that creationism should be taught alongside scientific theories in schools, or minimally be an option for our children in school), AIDS, gay rights, the environment (by the way, my new candidate Sarah Palin is unconvinced that global warming exists, or that humans have any part in it, if it does exist, which she feels is yet to be proven) and the rest of the issues that matter to our children and grandchildren; that all he'd have to do to get us to see the light would be to select a running mate who HAS A VAGINA!!! Kudos to the members of my new party, the Republican party. They really do know the answer to the age old question 'what do women want?' They got it right. We just want a candidate with whom we can go to the bathroom. After all is said and done...McCain knew that when push came to shove we women would have to get behind Sarah Palin as we wait for our turn to pee! The lines are usually so long and maybe that could be one of Sarah's first initiatives! More toilets for women!

I am so proud to be an American and I have no doubt that Sarah Palin will help rebuild our beloved country. John McCain must be rewarded and supported for showing such incredible respect and regard for our country by choosing a candidate with absolutely no expertise in any area (although she seems to have the lip gloss thing down), but who has lots of estrogen, because after all, isn't that what we women all wanted; a candidate who HAS A VAGINA!

I am truly nauseated and sickened, but I feel a little better now that I've gotten this off my chest!
See you when we get home.
Love,
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