Steeler Turned Unwilling Patriot

Let's all lift our beers, or whatever the hell we're drinking this New Year, and toast to my diehard Steeler fan friend Diane, who upon making an audacious bet with the almost-always-betworthy Robincita, made good on her wager and humiliated herself in public.

Let me explain the bet: it was on the Steelers/Pats game where Diane confidently predicted victory over our undefeated, if not brazenly pompous, men of New England. If the Steelers were to lose (as we all know they did), Diane was to don a NE Pats jersey and declare in front of the neighborhood bar crowd "The Steelers are not a better team than the Patriots." Vice versa if the Pats were to lose (which was highly unlikely, but never say never, eh?).

Here are some pics of Diane at the local pub. It wasn't as satisfying because I think there were three people in the place and that includes the cook and the bartender. We've got to take our hats of to Di for being clever with her "mask"..... it deserves recognition. I do love cleverness, you know.

However, I love victory more. P.S....beware of involving Scott, Nick and Di into a conversation about steroids and baseball. Especially when drinking. I still stand by my opinion, however, guys....

Off to Unknown Parts

Hi All!

We're off tomorrow on our newest adventure! Scott's first time in South America and my reunion with Liv and her family in Bolivia! We leave early tomorrow morning but we have several layovers so we won't arrive until about 6 am (Bolivia time, which is 1 hour later than East Coast time) on the 28th. I will email everyone with news of our safe arrival as soon as I can....we will have to use internet cafes, which is probably more likely within our first few days there in La Paz.

I'll take lots of photos and post them once we get home. Please pray that we have a drama-free flight, if there is such thing as one. We're due back on the 4th, mid-morning California time. We'll email again once we've arrived safely.

Much love! Can't wait to share our experience!
Robin & Scott

Newest Entry of the Shopping Diaries....

Lightning would not strike a second time. This trip was bound to be horrible but I'd somehow convinced myself that if I survived Walmart, it could only get better. I think I'm going to vomit.

I enacted preemptive strike. I found a parking spot central to all the stores I needed to hit and just decided that walking five minutes in each direction was not as bad as circling a lot for thirty minutes. I hit Macy's, returning a throw that we'd bought (it was stained with dirt), and exchanged it for a bath sheet that Scott really wanted. Yes, a bath sheet. Not towel. No. A soft, ridiculously large, encompassing bath SHEET. I won't divulge how much more I owed in the transfer because Macy's doesn't have anything in their stock that I would consider economical. I bought it because my baby really wanted it, I couldn't find anything else to exchange it for and I'm just calling it a Christmas present.

I moved on, hitting the Target, which wasn't as bad. I only sidestepped a few dozen people and maybe bumped into two (none of them pregnant or small children). The line was short, and even though I completely forgot to grab gift boxes, I was unaffected in the end. Scott and I always find interesting ways to wrap our presents. I would live with the oversight.

Still leaving my car be, I left the safe zone for the bookstore. There was one last gift I needed to grab and was BEYOND excited to find that after waiting for the lights to switch (and standing next to the drunken idiots from the Mexican place as we all waited to cross who bellowed loudly and laughed about things that were entirely not funny), I finally found the one gift that I had been searching for. I snatched it, happy with my booty, and went to the front of the store where I distractedly noticed a book I'd been waiting for and didn't know had been released yet. Oh joy, right?

Until I went to get into the line. I kid you NOT: at least 75 people in line. It wrapped down the long aisle, past Psychology, past Self-Help, past "How to Hack into Computers", past Travel, past Witchery, past Non-Fiction, past Humor (the section which I spent the most of my time because the line slowed to a snail's pace), past the calendar display, past the weird, long, oddly-placed Harry Potter display that split the aisle and all the way back into Young Adult and finally into the Children's section.

I looked at my goodies. Was it worth it? I decided that I didn't want to come back, that I wouldn't come back, so this was it. I stood in the stupid line. As if sent from the heavens, the older couple in front of me started chatting with me, probably realizing instantly that I was extremely annoyed with Christmas crowds. They must've felt I was kin. Anyway, their conversation got me through the line without cussing, without sighing, without telling someone to fuck themselves. It was brilliant! I learned a valuable lesson! When possible, make friends with people in line! The time slips by so much faster!

Our conversation was based on how reading has become obsolete (which was kind of silly considering the size of the line) and how everyone should, in the wise words of Seth Marko and the anonymous person that penned the bumper sticker that is proudly displayed on someone's truck at work just READ A FUCKING BOOK.

Sigh. I loved this couple. They tag-teamed....one stayed in the line, the other ran off and continued shopping. Whoever was in the line kept me company, telling me about their grandchildren and I told them about my nieces and nephews. It actually helped me ignore the ass behind me that was talking on his cell phone rampantly.

I raise my glass and toast: Christmas shopping is almost over. To the older folk who have not only more life-knowledge than me, but far more unfailing patience. Thank you for making my hell a little bit more bearable.

Survival

YAY! I've got 90% of my Christmas shopping done (for my hubby anyway). After venturing over to what I refer to as my "secret" Target (aptly named because it's tucked behind a building and it is not a well-known location) and successfully purchasing gifts without A.) growling at some inept person that's either holding up the line or standing in the middle of the aisle like an idiot or B.) shoving my cart into someone that is clearly in my way and can't fathom why I'm angry or C.) cussing out the standardized shopper that does not know the basics of mall decorum. So I made it out of Target in one piece without losing my temper or my sanity.

This concept encouraged me to do the unthinkable: go to Walmart. I decided that I would park far away, creep into the store and gauge what was sure to be a white-trash America bonanza. It was busy but not overcrowded. My initial report to myself: if I moved quick enough, I might be able to escape unscathed.

I grabbed a basket and booked it through the store, picking up the things I needed, dodging the confused batches of ignoramus rooted in the midst of the aisles like I was moving through a labrynth almost without incident. A man and his family managed to fan across the walkway, all walking at a ridiculous snail pace, bringing to a halt my very effective maneuvering. I sighed heavily and to my surprise, he turned, apologized and moved himself and his family to the side. I was incredulous. I've never had someone in Walmart apologize to me before. What an amazing precedent! Next minute I knew, I was in the line behind only one person. The cashier was a little slow, but aren't they all?

A successful trip indeed. Tonight I have to enter Macy's. I can only pray that the same thing happens but am I deluding myself into believing that a miracle can occur twice? We shall see....stay tuned for the newest entry in the Robincita Shopping Diaries.

Death To Them All

So I get the main idea behind Christmas: little Jesus in a manger, gifts from the Magi, no room at the inn ... kindness .... blah, blah, blah. Santa. Gifts. Angelic little childrens sitting by the twinkling tree patiently on Christmas morning, ever grateful for the presents that appeared miraculously overnight, and all because they were good all year long. Yeah. Right.

However, it's easy to forget the warm and fuzzy feelings that are supposed to be invoked during the holiday season when one must brave the malls, or dare I say it, the local Wal-Mart, which is guaranteed to be laden with the rude, the fat, the cheap, the stupid and the spawn of the aforementioned (most likely wearing dirty T-shirts that don't quite fit over the young'uns bulging stomachs, complete with bright red Kool-Aid stains around the screeching mouths). That being said, I braved the mall this past weekend (there is no way I'm stepping a foot in even the Wal-Mart PARKING lot which is always a fun excursion and usually ends with me cussing out someone that doesn't even speak English). It was every bit as bad as I'd anticipated. Over an hour spent searching for a parking spot. Long, ridiculous lines where the person in front of you drags out the cashier's attention, leaving you behind them shifting your weight from foot to foot and wondering how long you can hold the heavy box in your arms and still have enough strength to chuck it at the thoughtless idiot in front of you.

The thing that gets me about what's become of Christmas is that we put up with all of this insipid nonsense designed to make you blow a gasket, all so you can give somebody something that they might not even like. Did you ever get that gift that made no freaking sense? Ooooh, look a Slinkie! And you thought of me? How nice.

Christmas (let's forget Jesus and the manger and the Magi for a moment) was in essence manufactured as a greedy holiday, something to hold over childrens' heads to ensure that they were good little bastards all year. Now, now, Little Johnny if you don't stop giving sweet blonde pig-tailed Suzie a wedgie, Santa is going to give you nothing but a lump of coal this year! Little Johnny probably stuck out his tongue at you when you weren't looking, thus proving to himself that being insolent wouldn't result in that horrible lump of coal as long as the insolence went unnoticed by the parental units.

I digress. I was at the mall, breathing evenly through my nose, sidestepping those annoying people that stop in the middle of a crowded walking lane to glance around as if they were suddenly beamed up in front of Hot Topic, confused about how they'd gotten there. Move to the side, asshole, and let those of us who know how to work the mall properly by. I actually managed to fare pretty well out there in the cutthroat world of Christmas shopping for five hours. Part of this was because I kept promising myself that when I was done, I would reward my good, calm effort by having lunch at California Pizza Kitchen, complete with a glass (or bottle depending on my level of desired implosion) of wine.

It was when another rude, inconsiderate person, walking slower than a freaking snail, along with her litter of children (probably all from different Baby Daddies), all fanned out to completely block the walkway, happened in front of me that I lost it. All decorum gone. I cussed the woman (and I suppose her brats too) out, turning heel and heading for the CPK, abandoning any thought that I should hit Target for any gifts I hadn't yet bought.

Needing wine desperately, I wove quickly in and out of the crazed mob of shoppers, finally coming upon the door of the restaurant to discover that there was a 20 minute wait for a table. Oh hell no. I turned and left abruptly, heading for my car and inching out into the slow-paced road outside the garage, headed toward home where when my sweet husband asked if I needed help, and I demanded in a stressed voice, "Please open a bottle of wine."

Tonight, I again brave the brutal crowds (still not courageous or patient enough to hit Wal-Mart) so please everyone, pray for my sanity. I've already warned Scott that he should have bail money at the ready. I think perhaps this year I'll get everyone a photo of myself in a strait jacket with the caption: Sorry I didn't quite get to the register with the gift that you'd probably never use anyway.

All of a Sudden

Not sure why, but all of a sudden, I can sign into blogspot at work, which as most you know wasn't possible a few weeks ago so I stopped trying. However, they recently updated our computers so I thought I'd give it another go. Lo and behold, I'm in! I feel so gloriously successful!

I don't really have much to post though, so I suppose this will be a boring one. We've been running around like mad, trying to get our house ready for the housewarming soiree we're throwing this weekend. Should be a raucous melee to say the least. Scott even bought a stripper pole for the event, so photos will be posted on Sunday. I'm sure there will be a bunch of drunken idiots who hurt themselves.

I'm excited that I can finally post again from work! YAY! Chat with you all soon!

Coming Soon!

Pics of my friend Diane, a die-hard Steelers fan, wearing my Bruschi jersey while proclaiming in our bar "The Steelers are NOT a better team than the Patriots!"

She's the one that proposed the bet, not me. Stay tuned.

Our House

Finally, folks, some pics of the new house!!!!!! Check it all out!