Black Snake Moan

Not So Red Anymore

Well, I got home from work and my burn faded beyond quickly. When I woke this morning, my face was swollen. When I got to work, many people commented on my severely red face....and then suddenly, I get home and want to take a photo of it and it seems...just tan.

Badass Scott!!!

Crispy Robincita

Oh, boy! We went out on the boat yesterday and man, did I get fried! I'll post a pic later of my bright red lobster face when I get home.

Other than that, nothing extraordinary happened this weekend. I went into a cleaning fit on Saturday and litereally was dusting things, pulling things out to clean underneath them....it was time consuming, and I actually feel that I didn't get much done even though I know that I did.

Scott, Ed and Nick jumped in the water yesterday to do some knee-boarding and tubing. I got some great pics so come back later to see some fun wipeouts or in the very least, looks of intense concentration or pure childish excitement depending on who's in the pic.

Chat with you later! Peace out!

Sneak Peek

OK, so I am very close to being finished with my first revisions of my book. It is still unchaptered and very raw, but I wanted to post a "sneak peek" so to speak (can I rhyme or WHAT?) on my writing page. Go to robincita-writing.blogspot.com for a little amuse-bouche...something to tickle your palate hopefully.

And anyone who does read the little piece, please be honest. I don't care if you don't like it ... well, I do, but I'm not one of those peeps that am overly bothered by your criticism. Be honest, and I hope you enjoy the little teaser.

Back to Boston, Bolivia

Hey All,

Good and bad news!!! Good news for the family is that I will be able to come visit this year, most likely at Thanksgiving as I planned. Bad news is that Scott cannot get the days off so I'll be huffing it alone. No sweat though, fun will be had regardless and the hubby will most likely make it for the big family reunion next summer.

I'm excited about seeing Christy and Cindy's house (and plotting a break in at their evil neighbors...shhhhhh), meeting Natalie, seeing my goddaughter and seeing my strong and studly nephew Brendan and my beautiful and bubbly niece Delaney again.

On the other half of good news, Scott and I should be able to hit Bolivia (again for me, first time for him) around New Year's. We're excited and although the flight is a bitch, I can't wait to have him experience South America. He went to Europe and was not impressed so now he has a chance to see something completely amazing! I'm so excited! I cleared it with my work and now we just need to nail down dates.

I'll keep you guys posted for when the Boston ticket is bought. Right now it's cheaper to fly into Bostonia than Providence....but that might change :) Love and miss you all and YAY, I'll see you soon!!!

Almost done

Have you ever felt, when finishing a book, like you're letting go of a dear friend? The same feeling overtook me now as when I came to the end of Return of the King so many years ago. All of these characters who you adore, their experiences, their trials and tribulations that you covertly become a part of. You're there with them, living vicariously through their fictional lives, until finally the story is over and you're left with an empty feeling inside. Not to say that I believe fictional characters exist in real life but the power of storytelling is so emotional, raw and personal and by making others want to follow the story, by making them want to root for or jeer against a character, makes in essence the story itself immortal.

I would never tell you if Harry Potter lives or dies (read it your damn self, hehehehe) but the book is by far the best in the series and Rowling weaves a wonderful story, cast over the span of almost ten years, that makes it so hard to let it all go. Her tale of the unlikely hero and his band of mates fighting a war bubbling up between the very good and the darkest evil is a story that has been told time and time again, but with different characters, different scenarios and different methods. Everyone in the end wants the good to prevail, but what is good if there is no evil?

I know this might be a boring post to some of you, but seeing where none of my friends have finished the book, I needed an outlet to just talk about the overwhelming emotion that something as simple as a series of children's books can create. A long, long time ago, people sat in front of fires and told stories orally to scare their children or to teach them lessons or to simply put them to sleep. Over centuries, those same stories were passed from generation to generation until the ability to write them down arrived. Books.

I grew up on books. I used to read several at a time, and even back then, I knew that I wanted to be a storyteller. But now in these times, where reading books and telling stories has become practically obsolete since the creation of TV, movies, VCRs, DVRs and the internet, it is good to realize that one woman who dreamed up the wonderfully flawed characters of Harry Potter, Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley may have jump-started the simple but beautiful concept that everyone should just read a book every now and then and let themselves fall victim to the magical telling of stories.

Mania

I've dedicated my entire weekend to Harry Potter and his band of innocent magical ruffians.

I stayed in most of the day on Saturday (we were supposed to go to the Pride parade but Scott's hotel had a fire and he had to work) and finished Half Blood Prince, which did end tragically but not nearly as tragic as Sirius Black's death in my opinion. I've already started Deathly Hallows, which is turning out to so far live up to the hype as the last book. It is dark, tense, suspenseful....and I'm sure every reader is pushing back the notion that Harry might indeed die at the end of this one.

So my entire weekend was dedicated to the not-so-little wizard that has captivated the entire world.

Scott pretty much laid around yesterday. We did manage to watch Apocalypto, a movie about the beginning of the Mayan people's downfall (widely attributed to either their own savagery against each other or the arrival of the Spaniard conquistadors). It was intense because there are some scenes that look as if it takes place in Tikal, which is where we visited in Guatemala. I am aware however, that those temples were very similar and common to all ancient Mayan cities. It was a pretty good movie, although quite savage, so not appropriate for children.

Then, Scott managed to hook up our new monitor and our printer! YAY! As soon as I clean the small room, I'll post some pics up of the shiny new computer stuff. LOL

Seriously....NOT SIRIUS!!!

I am so disheartened. In reading the Harry Potter books (spoiler coming so don't read further if you really don't want to know), my favorite freaking character is killed off.

I know it's so odd to think of a book as effectively depressing in your real life, however when an author, especially one as magnificent as Rowling, can pull you into the characters and make you live vicariously through their fictional lives .... it can be a happy time for you or a depressing time when you finally reach the end of that book.

So going forward, I've finished Order of the Phoenix, which resulted in the death of Sirius Black, once a prisoner of Azkaban and finally revealed to be Harry's adoring, handsome, rough and intense godfather. And just like that, his only semblance to a real family is gone as a result of the evil Lord Voldemort and his Death Eaters. I'm pissed.

I wept like a sorry ass baby last night. It's been quite a long time since a book has affected me so much (or a series, I should say). I believe the last one was Lord of the Rings, and that resulted in a tatoo now, didn't it? Maybe time for another one.... no, I won't brand HP on my ass, I promise.

Me....anxiously on that blown up tube thingie

Nick ruling that tube!

Tubing Pics

Crazy Ed, diving into the Coronado Bay, so he could go tubing.

Gone Back to Black

My super black hair. Isn't it shiny????

Keep your panties on, crazies!

I had full intention of posting the pics from this past weekend last night, but I was immersed in Order of the Phoenix, so much so that I fell asleep with it on my chest, woke up at 2 am and promptly hefted myself off to bed.

I'll get the pics posted tonight, for all of my little crazies that are demanding them.

So fun news! Scott got us an ellyptical trainer! Now I can work out at home while either reading Harry Potter or watching TV! YAY!

Fun Weekend!

I am almost finished with the Harry Potter books! I finally got through Goblet of Fire, which was ridiculously good. These books are like crack, I tell you! I started Order of the Phoenix yesterday but only got through one chapter. My head hurt from voraciously reading for the past two weeks.

On Saturday, I went to the spa and got my hair beautified. I'll post a pic of my new haircut and very very black hair when I get a chance.

Yesterday, we took the boat out with Nick, Diane and Ed. We had a blast! We went tubing, which Ed loved (he was like a kid) and I could barely hang on. It was so much fun!!! Ed gave me some pointers for next time so I can't wait to go again. I'll post some more pics of that when I get home and download from my camera.

Other than that, nothing much is really going on. Because I'm so immersed in Harry Potter, I haven't been revising my book much, but I am up to page 170. YAY! Diane, I'll definitely send you the manuscript when I'm done. It's currently unchaptered but I think I might keep it that way and then hire an editor. We'll see what happens.

Lesson Two: Envisioning

Envision your outcomes.

Back to anxiety, guys and dolls. Envision your outcomes. Be honest with yourself when you envision your outcome. You might not like your choices but that doesn't mean you can change them. For fuck's sake, let's say that your outcome is bad no matter what, and you've got to make a choice between bad and worse, and your anxiety is hitting a ridiculous crescendo ... what do you do?

What CAN you do? That's the point of controlling anxiety. Most of the time, you cannot do anything. It's not about finding a happy place. It's not about feeling comfortable. It's not about you finding some miraculous way around a pickle.....it's about you dealing with it.

So Lesson Two is about starting to deal with it. Envision the end. Envision your options.

Anxiety= something you DO NOT WANT TO HAPPEN.

But it most likely will still happen. So taking your preventative measures, or even your preparatory measures, will make you ready for the end result. Stop dreading the actual result and start preparing for what you fear. This will not only stomp out your anxiety, but it will also make you a person that is ready for ANYTHING.

Nothing is going to fix you. Nothing is going to fix your issues. Nothing is going to make life OK. You need to adjust life to make it fit you. Happiness is wonderful and so many people forget that it is custom-made for what you design for yourself.

This is where losing yourself comes in. Anxiety makes you feel like you're less of yourself. It makes you forget the parts about yourself that you love ... and the parts you feel confident in.

Never forget your strengths. Never forget your autonomy. Never forget what your anxiety tries to steal from you.

Envision. Don't just envision a few moments in the future. Envision what you want for yourself. Envision the fact that it's not all gold and silver .... envision the fact that things will force you to endure and that you will be that much stronger for it. Envision that you are who you wanted yourself to be. And make yourself more.

Drive. Drive hard. Forget the fluttering in your stomach. Forget the random pain. Forget the inability to focus.

Remember. Remember that you are you wholly and you do not need to apologize for it.

Lesson One: Anxiety

We all know it runs in the family, and most of us have had issues with it. I think the amazing thing is that we have each other to lean on when things get rough.

Just a few things I've learned and made work to my advantage. Anxiety is something that occurs when we cannot control something, so the key to helping ourselves is relinquishing control. How do we, a bunch of control-freaks, let go of not only the notion of control but also the actuality of it? Easier said than done.

I was successful, not to say that I do not still suffer from anxiety attacks, but they are far less severe. So I'd like to share what my former therapist helped me with, and hopefully might help anyone else.

First and foremost. Anxiety happens because you want to control everything. Something occurs that you cannot control, thus creating an inward panic.

Second. Anxiety can and will create a physical issue. Your brain has far more power than you think. For instance, if I become too anxious and I cannot deal with it, I get a huge bout of dermatitis. For the science world, it seems impossible that one can create a blob of allergic reactions all over your skin, but with me, an outbreak of hives just means that I'm probably stressed to the max.

Third. You're not only NOT alone, but it is one of the most common mental ailments currently. Not only that, but there are things you can do to help yourself.

OK, so here goes. If your anxiety kicks in, try some of these things and see if it works for you. Just remember because it did work for me doesn't mean that it will work for you. People are different.

Keep in your mind the idea of control. Let it float there. Let the notion of control maintain your mind for a moment and then let yourself let go of it. Think of the end of a situation....let's say you think you'll be fired on Monday but there's absolutely nothing you can do about it. Do you stress over it on Saturday and Sunday, or do you relent to the fact that there is NOTHING you can do about it?

Lesson one is don't let yourself be bothered by things far beyond your control. Life is short. Enjoy what you have. Your life will go on despite what may or may not happen ... and you cannot control it.

I had some trouble with this when I went through therapy for my anxiety so my therapist had created some breathing and envisioning exercises for me. They worked for me....but it was breathing deeply and while doing that, envisioning my lungs expanding and shrinking. It made me think of myself as a whole person ... someone with her own autonomy. Someone with her own thoughts, feelings, being, personality.

Thus, Lesson Two. Anxiety is rooted in the idea that people do not feel like themselves. They feel that they've lost their own existence, and they create a panic with that. Next post will focus on that.

I'd love your thoughts on what you guys and dolls think of my slightly educational, and hopefully helpful, breakdown on what I've learned from dealing with my own anxiety attacks. . :)

From Christy's myspace page

I saw this on her page and thought to myself my little sis Christy is far beyond her years. Thank you for finding wonderful words and putting them up for everyone to see.

As we grow up we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to let us down probably will. You will have your heart broken, probably more than once, and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when someone broke yours. You'll fight with your best friend and maybe even fall in love with them. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast and you'll eventually lose someone close to you. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend angry or upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.

KUDOS!

Nothing much going on over here.

Over the weekend, Scott and I went out to a yummy lunch. He does odd jobs for the businesses surrounding his hotel and manages to rake in gift certificates to all sorts of fun and expensive places. So we had a nice relaxing lunch at King's Fish House (I ordered NY steak, YUM!) and then continued to be lazy all weekend. We did manage to watch a movie and then just hung out.

I've been making short work of all the Harry Potter books. I'll be done with Prisoner of Azkaban today, and then moving on to book number 4. I started them last weekend. Of course, on the Family Channel, they were having a Harry Potter movie marathon. I managed to see Chamber of Secrets and half of Prisoner of Azkaban but didn't want to see the end because it'll spoil the book.

Yesterday, we went and washed my car, which was MUCH needed. The thing had a perma-coat of filth covering it. Actually, I drove with Scott to bring the car to the car wash and then stood aside and watched as he went to town. It's so sparkly now.

Yes, Dad, I do believe the two wannabe fishermen did use worms on their hooks. I just think we were in a bad fishing spot. They didn't even catch a minnow. Well, probably because minnows are freshwater fish, but you get the gist. Poor guys were so excited to leave, and they went out and bought all this fishing gear, and then they looked so dejected when they didn't catch anything. They didn't even get some seaweed, LOL.

Just An Update

So I did talk to the HR rep from the newspaper and gave her my salary requirements and I thought she might choke on her own spit. Anyway, despite the fact that I could've talked them up a bit.....they were starting in the low-30's, and that would just be retarded for me to consider. Alas, I am staying at FOX and I'm happy for it.

I'm already learning more as people are expecting more of me, and giving me more knowledge. I'm currently walking the Trials and Tribulations path, and just catching slack on the backside of it, and actually loving it a bit. I like it when someone throws me to the wind and hopes beyond hope (along with me, LOL) that I land rightside up. Needless to say, it's begun. I'm excited.

Quick shoutout to cousincita Dawn for her 32nd (right? hehehehehe) bday! YAY! Candles and happiness abound.

Another congrats to Christy and Cindy for finishing their living room! Whoooop!

Nothing else left to report. I've been thrown facefirst into work, so all I want to do is come home, chill with Scott, read and then drift to sleep. Oh, I will say for the past whatever amount of years I've warded off the Harry Potter obsession only because I hate reading books in a series where I have to WAIT TWO FUCKING YEARS for a sequel so I've never read one single Harry Potter book. Until now.

I'm racing through them because the final book comes out soon. By the time I'm done, the rush should be over, but damn those freaking books are good. If you're in the market for a good read and you're not retarded with your reading choices like I am (translation, you've already read them), give them a gander. You won't be disappointed.

This past weekend, we had a very diverse few days. On Saturday, we went on a "fishing" trip (we need you Dad, we need you BAD) so I'm posting some pics of Ed ralphing over the side in front of the coastal restaurant (for the record, he insists it was from bad Burger King and every other time he's been on the boat, he's been fine) and on Sunday, we threw a birthday party for our resident San Diego lesbians Sarafina and TJ. Hehehehehehe...

To access any writing I post....

Sorry all, it's a bit difficult to access from my main page. For easier access, just log into: http://robincita-writing.blogspot.com/.

Short Story Posted

Hey all,

I have a new blog under the same sign in, titled Writing. I've posted a short story that I've entered into the Writer's Digest competition this year. Let me know if you have trouble accessing it.

It's a bit dark, so don't expect fluffy bunnies or anything, but I hope you have a moment to read it and tell me what you think!!!!

MUAH!

Another Day in Paradise

Work has been nuts. Preparing for this station "divorce" has been ridiculous. I'm fair and I'll place the blame on both business entities ... it would be so much better for the clients to just make it smoother and some of us on the lower end of the totem pole are frustrated. But again I'm not sorry I decided to stay. I think whenever you come across something as harsh as this, there will be waves. I just don't feel like surfing today.

On the WTF front, the San Diego Union Tribune (our version of the Boston Globe) is calling me again. I'll call them back tomorrow because I have a half day. Don't know what they'll say but I'm racking up my calling price now. I deserve at least to be considered ...

Wow. I'm a an escort now instead of a call girl. LOL

On the writing front, I'll be posting some short stories and maybe some peek chapters of my hopeful book up on a separate blog. You should still be able to access it from this site. More news to come.

It has been so amazing checking out everyone's lives from this blogspot and I seriously love looking at all your photos and hearing of your everyday lives. Keep them coming and keep me smiling!

MUAH!
Robincita

Real Mexico

Down in Baja with Scott. Right off the highway, down south from Tijuana in a place called La Fonda.

La Fonda is literally a strip of land on the beach but if you blink, you might miss it. I suggest you don't miss it.

Funky Me

I've learned a beautiful thing. Upon Scott's wonderful gift of a digital camera, I've learned that I can now pick the photos of me that I like, and those that I don't .... and I can make some images vanish.....and the ones that are rocking, I can exhibit.

Wow, check me out! No, I am so not getting a cell phone.

This pic wasn't a fave but I liked the funkiness, so here you are! A little of me, well, being me.

Success!

What I love about this pic is that it's about success and happiness. We all strive for a personal happiness, a place that we can all say we achieved and upon going to bed at night, we can smile at our reflection in the bathroom mirror and raise our hands up in victory. We've conquered another day.

But this pic means something to me, and certainly to the beautiful woman in the middle of it.....it means spirit. It means fulfillment. It embodies happiness. Fun. Richness for life. It is life.

So let's all go grab a slice for ourselves!