Lesson One: Anxiety

We all know it runs in the family, and most of us have had issues with it. I think the amazing thing is that we have each other to lean on when things get rough.

Just a few things I've learned and made work to my advantage. Anxiety is something that occurs when we cannot control something, so the key to helping ourselves is relinquishing control. How do we, a bunch of control-freaks, let go of not only the notion of control but also the actuality of it? Easier said than done.

I was successful, not to say that I do not still suffer from anxiety attacks, but they are far less severe. So I'd like to share what my former therapist helped me with, and hopefully might help anyone else.

First and foremost. Anxiety happens because you want to control everything. Something occurs that you cannot control, thus creating an inward panic.

Second. Anxiety can and will create a physical issue. Your brain has far more power than you think. For instance, if I become too anxious and I cannot deal with it, I get a huge bout of dermatitis. For the science world, it seems impossible that one can create a blob of allergic reactions all over your skin, but with me, an outbreak of hives just means that I'm probably stressed to the max.

Third. You're not only NOT alone, but it is one of the most common mental ailments currently. Not only that, but there are things you can do to help yourself.

OK, so here goes. If your anxiety kicks in, try some of these things and see if it works for you. Just remember because it did work for me doesn't mean that it will work for you. People are different.

Keep in your mind the idea of control. Let it float there. Let the notion of control maintain your mind for a moment and then let yourself let go of it. Think of the end of a situation....let's say you think you'll be fired on Monday but there's absolutely nothing you can do about it. Do you stress over it on Saturday and Sunday, or do you relent to the fact that there is NOTHING you can do about it?

Lesson one is don't let yourself be bothered by things far beyond your control. Life is short. Enjoy what you have. Your life will go on despite what may or may not happen ... and you cannot control it.

I had some trouble with this when I went through therapy for my anxiety so my therapist had created some breathing and envisioning exercises for me. They worked for me....but it was breathing deeply and while doing that, envisioning my lungs expanding and shrinking. It made me think of myself as a whole person ... someone with her own autonomy. Someone with her own thoughts, feelings, being, personality.

Thus, Lesson Two. Anxiety is rooted in the idea that people do not feel like themselves. They feel that they've lost their own existence, and they create a panic with that. Next post will focus on that.

I'd love your thoughts on what you guys and dolls think of my slightly educational, and hopefully helpful, breakdown on what I've learned from dealing with my own anxiety attacks. . :)